Well, I did it.  After many years of saying I would "never get a tattoo", I got one. I've never really liked tattoos and have never contemplated getting one.  I'm not trying to look cool or recapture my youth.  It's not a "bucket list" thing or a loss on a bet.  Like Jim Carey in "Yes Man", I couldn't say "no". 

My youngest daughter, Hannah, was diagnosed with Autism in 1998, when she was 21 months old.  Having a child with Autism changes not only the parents of that child, but the siblings of that child are shaped and affected by Autism and it's affects on the family.  Sometimes siblings have to wait on the sidelines a lot when autism takes centre stage.  Siblings have to grow up a little faster than their same-aged peers.  As parents, we did our best to create as "normal" a life as possible in a household that sometimes looked very "abnormal".  I know we weren't always perfect.  I know we were sometimes so exhausted and drained that we didn't do everything as well as we would have liked. Often, just getting from morning to night each day was more than I could handle.  Hannah's sisters, Meaghan and Sarah, have always been patient, understanding, and mature beyond their years when it comes to supporting their sister.  They have not complained.  They have not accused us of neglecting them.  They have not showed resentment toward their sister for the daily difficulties that she endures.  They have only been loving, kind, considerate, compassionate, helpful, and grateful.  So when they asked if we could get tattoos for Autism awareness, how could we say no?  The only possible answer was "YES".  

Time Out!

During the Christmas holiday, our family got sick.  Really sick!  I suspect that we got well acquainted with the Norovirus that was making it's way through the Quinte region.  For 4 days I didn't get out of my pajamas.  My first thoughts (after vomiting for hours on end) were "Oh, great, 4 days of my vacation days have been ruined!"
The fact is, though, that anytime I have experienced an unexpected illness or injury, something fabulous happens. Typically, I am one of those people who never sits still.  Always multi-tasking, puttering, only stopping long enough to sip a coffee or answer an email.  When I am forced to be still, I tend to read something I wouldn't usually have time to read or watch something that I wouldn't typically be interested in.  I learn something new and valuable about a topic or myself and I'm always a more enlightened person at the end of my forced confinement.
Those 4 days on the couch were really necessary in my life right now.  I emerged with a new sense of purpose and meaning in my life.  Apparently, the Norovirus was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Merry Chrismakwanzikkah!!

Some interesting debate was created after our local school bus company decided that Christmas decor would not be allowed on school buses this year in order to respect the diversity of the residents in our town.  That seems to be a growing trend....no decor...no music...no celebrations of any kind that may promote the idea of Christianity.  I understand the motives of those who are trying to make sure that no one is offended by anything, at anytime, in any way.  There are a lot of things to be offended about these days...I admit that I sometimes take offense to what others say and do because of my own personal beliefs and values.  So I get that.  I am also a believer in supporting others to express themselves.  To speak their mind.  To give their view.  To be all that they feel that they are.  I don't think you make people change their views by making them shut up.  It just makes people angry and resentful.  So, instead of telling one group of people that they can't be who they are because it will offend others, why don't we just encourage ALL people, of all belief systems to be themselves be proud of the citizens they are?  Celebrate being human in any way you feel is right for you.  Shout it from the rooftops!  And celebrate others who shout something different than you do.

Merry Chrismakwanzikkah Belleville!!

Do unto others...

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about organized religion.  We talked about the things we like and don't like about religious groups and their effect on people's behaviour.  We agreed that there are both negative aspects of belonging to a church as well as positive ones.  What started as a chat about religion, turned into a discussion on the "golden rule" of  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  This instruction can be found in almost every religious text, in every part of the world.  It is basically a prompt to be kind to others.  I think with our culture of social media and social isolation, we sometimes forget the importance of being kind.  Being kind isn't just good for the recipient of a generous act.  It is just as important for the giver of the act.  To offer kindness to someone has a positive effect on our mood, our sense of belonging, and our own sense of self-worth.  Did you know that if you are even present when someone else performs an act of kindness, YOU will benefit for the positive energy that the event creates?!

Kind acts don't have to be large investments in time or money.  A small gesture can have the same impact on the lives of people.  Carry someone's bag, buy them a coffee, give away your parking space, offer someone a ride....the list of things is as long as your imagination.  You'll feel great afterward..I promise.

'Tis the Season to be Jolly..

I've always found that particular carol line to be peculiar. After all, from a statistical point-of-view, the Christmas season is actually the least-jolly time of the year. People are stressed, many feel lonely, reminders of loss are abundant, gift-givers are financially strapped and suicide rates climb to an all-year high.

Oh, right, this is a blog about being happy and positive...I'll get to that part..

I woke up the other morning (that was the first good news of the day) and started thinking about what makes me happy during the Christmas season? Well, for starters, SNOW makes me enormously happy.  I love the beauty of it when it falls, the peacefulness when the ground is covered and it glistens in the sunlight or moonlight.  It's like a cozy blanket covering the city.  I love that.  I love small gatherings of friends and family, the food, soft Christmas music, and sitting next to my twinkling tree while I sip my coffee in the morning. I love that. I love wood stoves, long Sunday runs, the smell of cloves and clementines, and watching the dogs skid around the yard with icicles stuck to their eyebrows.  I love that. I love staying in my pajamas from Christmas Eve until boxing day, new slippers, and having the children home from school for two weeks (okay maybe I'm more happy the 1st week).  So, there is a lot that I love about Christmas apparently.  I think I will embrace all that I love about the 'season to be jolly' and I'll turn away from the things that have provoked stress in me.  It is, after all, up to me to decide if I will have a happy holiday or not. I guess it really will be jolly. :0)

Giving up the need to be RIGHT.

This year I learned an important lesson.  I finally decided that being "right" doesn't really matter.  This doesn't mean that I don't have a point of view, it just means that I don't feel the intense need to defend my point of view to others anymore.  Sometimes I forget this lesson, and I feel myself starting to argue my point or mentally criticizing others for their point of view.  I am learning that someone else can have a drastically different point of view from my own and that it doesn't make them WRONG.  It just means that their experience has given them a different perspective.  It doesn't have to make sense to me.  It doesn't have to seem logical to me.  It doesn't have to meet my standards.  I don't have to be RIGHT and "they" don't have to be WRONG.  We can agree or disagree and it doesn't make me better or worse at the end of the day.  It is very freeing to give up on the RIGHT-fighting.  It takes a lot of energy to try to change someone else's mind.  So, instead, I'll spend my energy on my own thoughts and attitude and I'll let others see the world through their own lenses.

Sometimes the bumpiest roads lead to the most wonderful destinations..

Sometimes I get a plan in my head and it's all I can think about.  To be truthful, I get a bit obsessive about it.  I think about it when I wake up, while I shower, while I'm at my desk, while I'm driving, and I talk about it a lot.  I think of my plan when I'm eating, and just before I go to bed at night.  Sometimes I wake in the night, and think of it a little more. I get excited about my plans and can hardly wait for them to come to fruition.  I use a lot of time and energy creating my ideal situation in my mind.  So, it feels pretty rotten when my plan doesn't turn out in exactly the way I want it to.  When this happened in my youth, it could sometimes feel devastating. With time, and experience, I know that it's okay when my plans don't turn out the way my mind decided they would.  My plan may need to be revised, shaped, and guided in a different direction.  It's never the end of the world, it's just a unexpected detour toward my goal.  At the end of the day, I have never, never, been disappointed by where the detour took me.  It's always a better place than my original plan could have imagined.